Hi Everyone <3
I know this is a random topic but it is important to me because this is something that I did personally. Not recently, but almost two years ago I married the most incredible man, in secret, and I have absolutely no regrets.
My husband and I had a simple courthouse wedding, with very few friends and family present, and we didn't tell anyone who wasn't present for months after, and why I think this is such a huge topic to discuss is because the amount of negative feedback I've received from friends and family is outstanding. We've had SO many people be supportive as well and we couldn't be more appreciative, but the amount of negativity has shocked me. So this is just my two cents and what I have to say about it:
3 - It is MY life.
Not yours. I am an adult, I can do what I want. Seems simple enough but people often times have difficulty comprehending that, especially friends and family. I will do me, you do you. This might come across as harsh but honestly, this is the base; the foundation for this post. Don't let people judge you for the decisions you make. It is YOUR life.
2 - New marriage pressure.
This is a HUGE pet-peeve of mine and a large reason as to why I kept quiet about getting married for awhile.
Newlyweds are looked at by their friends and family, church, school, or organization, as being just that, newly weds. In this day and age, people enjoy being involved in exciting events like marriage, which is great, but it causes unnecessary pressure to be and act like your marriage is perfect. When a close friend of mine was married to her long-time boyfriend, after a week or a month, people would always ask 'How is the married life?' or 'How is your marriage? Do you guys fight?' etc, etc. Even just writing this I'm getting heated. There is such pressure on those who have recently become married and it shouldn't be that way. Unless there is a serious problem in the marriage, if you argue, and how often you argue, should not be announced to social media.
1 - It's not your business.
I will share what I want with my friends, family, and community. Marriage is between two people, not the world. There are people who are near and dear to me that I will share information with but it is not a requirement to post your life on Facebook for everyone to see. If you are comfortable doing that and being entirely transparent about your relationship, that is amazing! I'm not bashing that at all. Basically what I'm saying is that there is no rule book that says you HAVE to inform everyone of everything in your life.
Marriage is a wonderful, hard, beautiful event, and I learn new things every day. I am in no way criticizing any form of marriage or any plans, I am solely saying that however you choose to celebrate, it is YOUR choice and no one who respects you as a person should bash you for doing it.
You all are amazing. Do YOU for YOU. xoxo